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I feel like âput yourself in the shoes of the people who have the ability to give you what you want, then work give them what they wantâ is still a dramatically underutilized frame for getting what you want. It applies to everything from dating to jobs. Foundational peopling 101
The kind of shadow twin to this is âlook for people who already have what you want and study what they did. (Also see if getting what they wanted actually made them happy. It seldom does).â https://t.co/hOvdEmypeL
If you want to be a movie director, read biographies of movie directors. Study their decisions and choices and circumstances and mindset. Once you understand that stuff inside out, when you actually talk to producers, actors, etc - your odds of success improves dramatically
Personally, I call this âthinkingâ. Not a lot of people seem to do it đ We introduce phrases like âdesign thinkingâ and âsystems thinkingâ to soften the blow, which is that people simply and literally donât think
I also suspect, broadly, that school dulls thinking https://t.co/j7HYdMyk71
@visakanv https://t.co/pOxlaRAP37
.@QiaochuYuan OH MAN. you want to read The Birth of Pleasure by Carol Gilligan talks about moms & sons & trauma and about how it can be observed that boys of like 2-4 have a fuckton of emotional intelligence etc, which gets repressed so early people think it doesn't exist đ˘
I also suspect, broadly, that school dulls thinking https://t.co/j7HYdMyk71
@visakanv https://t.co/pOxlaRAP37
.@QiaochuYuan OH MAN. you want to read The Birth of Pleasure by Carol Gilligan talks about moms & sons & trauma and about how it can be observed that boys of like 2-4 have a fuckton of emotional intelligence etc, which gets repressed so early people think it doesn't exist đ˘
@visakanv "What people profess to want" and "What people are believed to want" are not coextensive with "What people want" and "What people take specific actions to get" is a much better predictor were really, really important lessons for me.
@visakanv And while that sounds screamingly basic a) again, smart person wouldn't have verbalized this until the age of ~30 and b) if you are more specific than "people" here there are configurations whom the advice is relevant to who will disagree with the force of 10,000 burning suns.
@visakanv @patio11 first thing that came to mind https://t.co/sEHvEalSQP
@patio11 @visakanv > smart person wouldn't have verbalized this until the age of ~30 one thing I very much enjoy about talking to people with more experience than me is that they can often accurately verbalize things I have previously experienced/realized. it's super helpful and interesting
@visakanv I remember that thought experiment about dating surprising me when I was young. ⢠What kind of person do you want to date? ⢠Ok. Now what kind of person might *they* probably want to date? ⢠Is that you?
@visakanv 300%! While back I recorded that profound truth and made people give me their email to get it on https://t.co/bhbkor6LEs People won't appreciate this advice if they don't have to work for it. I even called it 'Agency principle' so it sounds like a thing
@visakanv Most peopleâs idea of âwhat others wantâ is bizarrely âwhat I want them to wantâ. Yâall need more mirror neurons https://t.co/pCcmrtwaKQ
@visakanv This was a big thing for me at my first job. Worked directly for the MD, whoâd already made millions and retired at 39. Their time was easily 100x as valuable as mine, so my whole frame was âhow can I give them maximum value while using up as little of their time as possibleâ.