divya venn@divya_venn• 9 months ago

when I said I used to romanticize my despair I mean (in my head) this is what she looked like, and of course I took an odd sort of consolation in being her and I learned to see the ridiculousness of it, me aping Cassandra and Antigone when in reality I was just a round faced 20 year old rotting under a blanket, heaping misery after misery on her own head while the birds were chirping outside and she had all her youth and health and wits at her disposal and then my despair was no longer a nymph ravished by fate, she was just a clown, frankly, and I was able to laugh at her, and she had no power over me any more.