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one of the things they recommend to work with difficult children is to observe them for a while. when you do that, you can't help but like them more and you know one of the heartbreaking thing about kids is they always know which adults actually like them https://t.co/QGAT4a5Dyy
when you observe a child, for a while, you notice what they're good at. you notice.. the pattern in their disruptive behaviour, when it comes out, what sort of unmet need that behaviour was coming out of it's usually painfully obvious. like witnessing sth intimate and private https://t.co/9ewqQIBXJr
do they socially butt and raise their voice when they feel rejected? slam objects away because they got hurt but can't cry? do they act really needy and disorganised because they have so much of a need for attunement they are not getting at home?
there's more of a willingness to help direct their energy towards things they will like and be good at, because you know what might click with them maybe it's really cool the way they make envelopes. maybe encourage them make mail for all the teachers
there's more of an ability to track, oh they got a boo boo, let's attune to that you know they like feeling independent, and don't like overt help in those moments the mismatch between your comfort response and the effect on them decreases
there's more of that child-like awe, and heart-curiosity, when they do an annoying behaviour, why, and what's going on it's a heart-curiosity that i think we as adults have about kids by default. but with some kids... it can be challenging
sometimes it's just children being children, right. the baby is not throwing peas on the floor because of trauma. 2yos aren't being selfish because on attachment but sometimes, it feels like there's something more. that's when you take a step back and observe
“The ethical imperative underlying both childrearing and early childhood education is caring.” And caring most happens when you like someone. https://t.co/WUD7Zcdf5c
