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Insurance: Oh and another thing while I have you on the phone about your new policy: you don't have life insurance with us. Me: I am surprised by that statement. Ins: So I have a refund check for the policy that we didn't issue. Me: Delivering me a policy via hardcopy is in...
... my admittedly amateur understanding a very non-consensus way of not issuing me a policy, particularly after you have been paid for the policy. Ins: Yeah weird thing huh the company had the policy down as Issued Not Accepted. Me: For the benefit of the recorded phone line...
Me: ... I have received no communication from the company that the policy was not issued, have a copy of the policy in writing which appears to me to be executed, and have not received nor cashed any refund check of the timely made policy premium. Ins: But it wasn't accepted.
Me: Oh I take no position on what another part of the company believes to be true, and am happy to work with you to update their records. Ins: Yes we can get a new policy issued. Me: For the benefit of recorded phone line, I understand myself to have a policy with this insurer.
Ins: But the department in charge says it wasn't accepted. Me: This doesn't matter even a little bit to either one of us unless I die in a matter of days, which I have no plan on doing. But if I do, Legal will want to carefully think about what I said here prior to paying claim.
Level of ticked off I am at the moment: Very little, because I am not dead. But if I had hypothetically died in the last six months, I would have haunted their fax machines for seven generations if they had briefly tried to cite these shenanigans to my heirs.
"Do you think this would have been resolved satisfactorily?" One person reviewing the box of stuff would have found policy, called, been told "Oh we don't pay", consulted lawyer, and then check would have been in mail on the same day at that point with ~100% probability.
"Why aren't insurers legendary about being bastards?" Insurance regulators have one golden rule, and if you break it they will ask you for eighty years of records and step through them one transaction at a time: Do Not %*(#%( With Life Insurance Payouts.
(The eighty years thing is not an exaggeration and was a result of insurers selling a lot of small-dollar life insurance policies to black Americans in a time when cheating black Americans was commonly acceptable business practice. Fast forward a few decades to more modern times)
(The conversation went "The firm might have done regrettable things in regrettable times but that was before I was born." "You are A LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY making promises and then keeping them come hell or high water IS THE POINT you will immediately give us all records."
(Incidentally, many discourses about corporate personhood complain that it is invoked to mean that no human is actually responsible for various bad acts. It is rarely said, but is true, that corporate personhood means that no presently living human needs to have been involved...
... in making a promise to bind a corporate person to get its actually-living-currently humans to move swiftly in keeping a promise it once made, because corporate persons can be immortal or close to it. Similar observation re: assigning contracts to an entity after merger, etc)
The rep was a little confused by some dancing after looking into things and I did not want to say “If any of this matters you will not be around the table discussing it and so I do not necessarily have to explain the weirdness.” Rep: I called the responsible department and…
… they said that the policy was issued not accepted because… explanation here. Me: Oh that’s an interesting point of view. Rep: So we need to make a new policy. Me: Yes I definitely want $X coverage in term life from your insurer to be in force. Rep: So you want to apply for…
Me: I am happy to collaborate with the insurer in guaranteeing that I have that in force. Send me paperwork. More paperwork. Rep: Do you want to hold off on paying the premium until you get your refund check. Me: Oh no no no I want to pay any premium demanded as early as possible
Rep: Really but then you’re out the premium from last year until you receive the refund check. Me: Yes to clarify for the recorded line I have not seen a refund check nor has the insurer made any effort to inform me about its purported existence or to convey it to me before today
Rep: Can I mail it to you? Me: The insurance company is welcome to send me any paperwork about my policies it wants to at the address it has on file. I carefully read all paperwork it sends me. It has sent no paperwork nor email about this policy since the policy itself.