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Reading @introspectVV made me aware of a vicious cycle that seems so dumb and obvious in retrospect: feeling not good enough unless I work for it (workaholic) > not living up to my own expectations > coping with porn, messy flat > shame > not inviting friends > repeat
I was aware of all the puzzle pieces independently but they clicked in place when reading about Visa's experience with internal conflicts & his relationship to: work vs. playful free time Gotta find inner balance/peace between the work-demanding tyrant & kid that wants to play.
Another contributing factor to this realization was the section about going outside and being part of a social community & friend group(s). I was so focused on work topics that I would spend weekends further educating myself instead of taking the initiative to meet friends.
So, to break the cycle: - clean your room (declutter, get rid of broken shit, vacuum & dust each Sunday) - reserve weekends for meeting friends and joyful activities - join a club, seek new experiences, try 100 things
Don't stop watching porn. If you feel like 💩, you will crumble and relapse anyway. It has a self-regulatory / load-carrying purpose. Instead focus on what you want to see more of: a goal like lifting weights & losing fat. Eventually your identity will change and stop craving.
"We tend to repeat the patterns that we do not understand" https://t.co/YHHnrEJyKu
