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One of the common denominators in the great marriages I’ve seen is that they took the relationship seriously right when they first started “dating”. They either came in with that energy or things escalated very rapidly. It didn’t even look like dating. Dating is low velocity.
This isn’t universally true, and it isn’t a guarantee of anything; I’ve also seen couples divorce who had this initial energy. But it still seems notable. The default dating patterns seem to lack the inertial energy required for the lifespan timescale.
It’s “hell yes at the beginning” but my point here is that it’s two souls who are capable of wisely, non-impulsively pattern matching to a “hell yes at the beginning”, in a world where that pattern is often not an accessible meme https://t.co/YoVC4ni7Io
I know of two young couples right now who are all but engaged after a few months of courtship, and who (understandably IMO) find themselves not publicly branding it that way because their social castes will be anxious about impulsivity
Both have risks and failure modes, and individuals are different need to be self-aware etc etc. But philosophically/psychologically, seriousness and velocity are reinforcing, and it’s a bit surprising that they are the exception and not the default
Like, what’s with this? Seems odd https://t.co/rTqhbif6OY
I think this is also good. The point is not actually “get married right this second”, the point is take things seriously which means actively, energetically escalate. This is good, healthy, active escalation on a non-rapid but also definitely non-laggardly timetable. https://t.co/buVkhyEVhl
Foolish youthful impulsivity is a real phenomenon, but it is not grounds for robbing the young of the possibility of seriousness Mutatis mutandis for the more aged https://t.co/HB3Kv5LG64