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i'm happily married 10+ years with a wife and son who love me and i have none of that shit together lol. this is the "shiny lure" class of advice i was talking about. ime the only thing you actually need in a relationship is to know/learn how to relate to each other healthily https://t.co/j00J3M1pNq
i do also think that having shared intentions to grow and get better at stuff together is great/ideal. when my wife married me i was literally jobless lol (just done with military service) but i got a job 2 months after and i stuck with it for 5+ years to provide for us
actually the cool thing is it's literally that Rocky quote, I got gaps, she got gaps, together we got no gaps. i'm good at socializing, hustling for opportunities, etc. she hates that. she's good with budgets and calendars. i hate that. etc https://t.co/CXAIVMCbbK
@visakanv I once read an essay that talked about how in the past, people got married to create a partnership. In the modern era it’s often seen in the reverse, where you create a partnership and then get married when you succeed.
@eshear @visakanv Our confusion about marriage is not 100% separable from our confusion about adulthood given that marriage used to shortly follow coming of age/independence/etc, and as timelines increase, we get people thinking they must still be children in their mid 20s. (Adulting is hard, etc)