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flirting is a natural byproduct of when i feel a connection so palpably and obviously that i assume it's there for the other person and they're maybe just catching up, and playfully making fun of them for not feeling it yet
to me, rizzing/confidence is interacting from feeling the connection so much that "you like me and i like you" is a foregone conclusion, which is where a playful conversation like "when we're together/married, what will xyz be like" comes from
here's part of the rub - it has to actually be true. you have to actually feel a connection to her, and be accurately picking up one from her. otherwise you get the memes of hippie fuccbois talking about how much "energy i feel between us" that isn't actually based in reality
my sense/experience is that to improve at this is to get better at connecting across many dimensions (emotional and sensual have been big themes for me the last year or 2), which entails building more internal awareness and trust and courage to express
as well as attention to nuance, to discern, and to have an embodied sense of what connection does and doesn't feel like - from quickly noticing different dimensions of connection with strangers to noticing areas of disconnection with existing relations
interesting, listening to someone talking about luck in flirting and i'm starting to believe this frame, which suggests that there's not really luck involved, like there's a ground truth, but ever shifting, connection, and it's about cultivating it, noticing it, and owning it