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🧵 Thread (12 tweets)

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

wow, crying really helpsi need to let myself cry like significantly more

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

i remember when i was younger, my mother would get really concerned because i struggled to deal with other people, and would end up crying a lotand she saw the *crying* as the problem.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

i remember, about a decade later (around when i was 18?), i was crying because my mother was really mad that i broke down in class and told a teacher that i was being hit in the morning every school day to wake me up

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

the police got involved, and i felt so bad for just *having emotions*. i wished i'd never broke down crying that morning, i wished i'd never told that teacher.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

and while i was sobbing and my grandmother tried to comfort me, my mother yelled at my grandmother "don't comfort [Kat], [she]'s a drama queen and doing this for attention".

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

a few days later, i saw really clear parallels between what i was going through and a fictional story written about abuse. it made me actually realize that my parents were abusive, after being told so by friends countless times, and i started to put together plans to run away.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

back when my mother was yelling at my grandmother for comforting me, she said "[Kat] likes to cause problems".a year prior, my mother claimed i was the sweetest child/teenager she'd ever met, except for when she was upset at me.so, i left this as my only note when i ran away. https://t.co/Fk3gFxRJ7W

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

i'm never fucking going back there. i'd rather be homeless than spend every single day reminded of my failure to survive on my own.it would be mental suicide.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

my mother is somewhat dysfunctional due to various issues she has, and relies on my grandmother for support.i've inherited basically every mental disorder she has/had, along with my dad apparently being a bit "crazy", so it's no wonder i'm a bit of a mess too.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

but, i'm still going to try to make this work.i've made it this far, i'm not turning back here.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

follow up thread:https://t.co/LFh2keBvD0

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

i used to rely on objects and places a lot for comfort.however, as i made plans to run away from my parents, i had to slowly mentally prepare myself to be okay with having fewer comfort objects. i could only bring what would fit inside my backpack.

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2/15/2024

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @transkatgirl

i was inspired to write this thread after writing thishttps://t.co/R4ZDynbKKC

kat@transkatgirl• almost 2 years ago

the usual advice is to not take psychedelics during acutely stressful periods of your lifei, of course, completely disregard that advice and then have to deal with the consequences of doing so

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2/15/2024