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a shift i've been going through over the past... decade, almost, but it's really increased in the last couple of years, is that i now rarely bother to try to get into alignment with ppl who respond to me in misaligned ways. what this means is i ignore them instead of disagreeing
i spent years of my life working really hard to try and get aligned with people in every single interaction i had. this was initially borne out of a people-pleaser's desperation to be liked, and it became sth that i got really skillful at -> charisma, status, influence, etc
but then that led to a large increase in volume of correspondence, which now makes it effectively impossible to respond to everyone. i anticipated this years ago. and i have an actual kid now so this is no longer hypothetical: https://t.co/FWq6RCHjFg
I have a soft spot for the belligerent, disagreeable people of the world who have strong feelings & intuitions. I really do. I was one of them. But I can’t give them more space in my life than my own wife. And if we have kids? “Daddy spends his time arguing on the internet” https://t.co/RumAuTGJqs
for context this is what i was like when i was a kid https://t.co/0iXBK1GdJ8
which isn't to say that i want to be aloof and disengaged from reality it's more like... rather than getting deep into the weeds of any one particular misunderstanding, i clarify and contextualize my views over time. this selects for more committed longterm conversation partners