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VIII. 2 months in, i sometimes still cant believe my son is real. i look at his face and i see both myself and my wife. in his smiles i see the most profound beatific bliss. when he cries i feel gratitude for the opportunity to be the caring, nourishing presence i wish i had had
VII. about a month after i got married, i remember still accidentally referring to my wife as my girlfriend, out of habit. there's something similar with having a kid. sometimes people say things like "i was afraid i wouldn't feel a gushing love my child overnight" and like, yea, https://t.co/wlcnzWxgCc
i love holding him. i love carrying him around. i love watching him sleep. i love feeding him and burping him and changing his diapers. every part of this is such a culmination of everything i have thought and known and felt and believed. its the most divine creative project
witnessing my wife be his mother makes me fall in love with her all over again too, harder and more deeply and in more dimensions and nuance than ever before. our home used to be so quiet, now i hear her singing and cooing to him and it is so joyous
every moment with him has me revisiting, re-relating, renegotiating my own self-concept, my own understanding of myself. and my understanding of people, and the world. everything is alive again, everything is of significance
i cant wait to give him his first taste of lemon i cant wait to bring him to the zoo and show him a giraffe i cant wait to have a family groupchat i cant wait to hear what he thinks about everything there’s so much to look forward to