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sometimes water rushes into the cave of the heart. fills it up, this cave that was so parched, so dry. and i want to freeze this water. so joyful it is! to have a companion. i beseech the feeling to stay. "stay! it's been so long without you. i'll make a bed"
and that is the first heartbreak, and first initiation of the water, that that feeling is not here to stay that feeling, of the inhale, filling our lungs up. that clench, at the top of our breaths, wanting to substitute the clenchednes of no breath with the clench of full breath
soon, even the dry cave begins to feel like home. i notice the moss that grows. soon, the visiting of the water is like the visit of an old friend! regular, timely, sometimes erratic, but never forced, always welcome the feeling begins feeling like a visiting spirit
i greet it as such https://t.co/2he4SF1UIb
some sort of initiation happened. some sort of the understanding came to pass. i learned it from the passing of the waters. the ins and outs of the breath https://t.co/nBJsHUk54V
there's something important about that. when we're first exposed to love, especially after being deprived of it for so long, we need to cling. we don't know if it'll come back we need the thing to come back many times, to let us know it’s safe to let go
i learned i was exchanging molecules with the rest of the universe. there was no firm boundary. is the air in my lungs… me? or is it the universe. what about in my alveoli? what about the oxygen in my red blood cells?
like a stream flowing over rocks, my body hummed with movement. i was an alive thing! this is what it meant to be alive. to sense unmistakably the blurry boundary. to feel that connection to the earth around me https://t.co/zWj7oDjTRL
why had i ever retreated into the world where matter was dead and the world was not alive? why had i thought i was the only being here? why had no one taught me? https://t.co/zZcCvFMAAq
i get why i want to look at the world like it is made out of dead atoms in the science lab, because it is a useful model i will look at clay as it's made of minerals and metal, instead of personhood and earth, when i am engineering a bridge cars will drive over
i will keep the technology of matter. but i now also keep technology of spirit https://t.co/Z4krcC07ca
totally unrelated, but 💙https://t.co/ashKd1J1C7