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emotional conflict resolution seems very different from a trial court where you prosecute each charge separately and add up the sentences for a total punishment whatever my hyper logical mind thought was going on, doesn't seem to be going on
why did i pop into hyper logical mind? because conflict fucking terrified me, and while you might not be able to tell, in conflict, you're not talking to adult me, youre talking to 8yo me who's terrified and wants to be good and wants to be understood again and is being logical
it doesn't need to know if the conflict outcome was good or bad. it doesn't need to know if the trial news is good or bad. that's not the level at which the child is operating it needs to be held, squished, fed, heard, and allowed to move again https://t.co/OgL9Yg3YT2
there's no thought about any of this. it's what you do when you see a crying child https://t.co/TGXs08ZjJH
it's what you do when there's an inner adult around https://t.co/fAnzqzPkP9
and then what?... well, some other things became more obvious. it became obvious that the way i was trying to hyper-clarify what i did and did not do wrong was completely unnecessary they didn't need to know or understand that
i can accept them having a slightly less accurate idea of me because i have my own separate discernment and idea of me from there, i can just discern, what is the action i want to take? maybe it is to clarify. maybe it's just to say "Ok." and to speak from the heart
>If you get to express your pain, I get to express my pain, and we feel felt enough that the trust between us is restored, that's really all there is. https://t.co/3DxfRPTzVG