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VII. about a month after i got married, i remember still accidentally referring to my wife as my girlfriend, out of habit. there's something similar with having a kid. sometimes people say things like "i was afraid i wouldn't feel a gushing love my child overnight" and like, yea, https://t.co/wlcnzWxgCc
VI. fatherhood continues to be the most fascinating experience of my life. day by day, i get to witness “new systems coming online” – he has marginally more grip strength now, more responsive to words, making more eye contact, becoming more opinionated, establishing personhood https://t.co/z7vuGMUUIT
it takes time to get to know a person! even if u could know a lot about them beforehand (this happens for me with new friends with extensive bodies of work– we can read each other's stuff and speedrun years of shared understanding), it takes time to weave a relationship together
there have been moments in the past month where i sort of micro-forgot that I have a son. i go to the toilet or something, and i come back out and i'm like oh man, there's a kid here! that's my kid! wife and i keep jokingly asking each other "who's this guy?" "your son!" "omg"
it's so much fun. i love him so much. i catch glimpses of his personality in the patterns in his facial expressions and his body language and i'm so excited to discover more of it. his hands are already a little bigger than they were a couple of weeks ago
i am also falling in love with my wife all over again watching her be a mom. generally in our relationship i tend to be the annoying cheery optimist and she's the grumpy cynic (and I love that about her), but when she sings and coos to our son i melt into a puddle of sunshine
thinking about the world in relation to my son also has had a nice clarifying effect. i find myself thinking about what sort of example i am setting. i find myself wanting to take him on morning walks even though i am not a morning person. I find myself wanting to work out so "daddy's tired" is hopefully never a bottleneck to anything. it's all been wonderful for me, so far. grateful and hashtag blessed etc
his mom put him in this onesie and I am in absolute shambles 🥲🥹 https://t.co/Lkxbt9gpJM https://t.co/JdLnSwMV2Y
I’m not kidding about the hero thing - I was *obsessed* with it. My username everywhere was “visaisahero”. I think I’ve always felt, as a misfit, that an ordinary life was not for me. It felt like I was either going to have to learn to fly, or burn out https://t.co/4D3akGhthD
caring for him is caring for me. I had previously inherited and internalized some amount of the idea that feeding and cleaning diapers etc are the tedious, unpleasant parts of parenting. but for me they quickly became the most meaningful. each time I do it I reaffirm to him and to myself that I care, and that caring is a privilege and a joy not a burden. this itself may be a privileged perspective but I am a privileged person 😅