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Japanese bank: And how can we help you today? Me: I will need to send a domestic transfer to complete a startup investment. “Absolutely Mr. McKenzie. Will this be to someone you have made a transfer to before?” “No.” “And the amount?” “$AMOUNT.” “Oh sorry. You will need to…”
“… come into the branch to authorize a first time transaction of that amount. This is for your security.” Me: “As the bank is aware, I am presently in the United States, where it is inconvenient to go to one of your branches.” “We are sorry but this is policy.” “Of course.”
Me: “On an entirely different note, I find myself needing to make a transfer of 1,000 yen ($8) to reimburse my friend’s company for the coffee they so generously bought me.” Bank: “Are you sure? The fee for that transaction would be an absurd portion of the price of a coffee.”
Me: “Well, it is the principle of the thing.” Bank: “Of course sir.” Me: “Oh and please check the box to remember their information for future transfers.” Bank: “Of course sir. Can I help you with anything else?” Me: “Yes I would like to make a *second* time transfer to…”