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@QiaochuYuan I've gradually realized over the past years that one of the reasons I've been quite loud/domineering in conversations is that to the extent that I (or my autopilot) is running the show, the conversation is less likely to be overwhelming to process in real-time interesting cope
@Malcolm_Ocean @me_fafo @QiaochuYuan interesting... I have the opposite instinct- I listen without simultaneously planning my own reply and then formulate my thoughts after they've stopped talking... slows down the conversation with pauses but is less stressful. downside is w the ppl who never stop talking lol
@Malcolm_Ocean @QiaochuYuan Relatedly, I was thinking about the concept of a podcast/interview where instead of an area of expertise, the discussion is closer to a slow boggling. JP had an interview once where a Christian is interviewing him about his beliefs and he had to stop/slow and it's way better.
@QiaochuYuan scrolled through the replies and didn't see anybody suggest this as an interpretation: the mainstream social norm is that you're *not* supposed to fully process what's happening in real time. people are always leaking more than they let on, and the polite norm is to overlook it
@QiaochuYuan part of what happens here is you cut inside the OODA loop to notice something interesting. but most people don't do that most of the time. it keeps things polite and civil, sterile and superficial, which most of the time is all anyone has time/energy for https://t.co/UC8VTSTwmu
The most powerful IRL interview/conversation/flirting skill isn’t asking good questions nearly as much as asking good followup questions - it’s being sensitive to interesting micro-reactions. When you ask a question and they respond “😂... no”, and you go “Why 😂?” Etc
@QiaochuYuan Low social intuition / "Puzzled" From The Emotional Life of Your Brain by Richard Davidson My summary: https://t.co/rTRFLR9ngK https://t.co/7VFXi2QDd5
@QiaochuYuan I find it useful to imagine we have parallel processing & serial processing capacities. overwhelm can be a symptom of using your serial processor to attempt parallel tasks. this applies to all nerd/autist problems wrt normies. parallel processing is like intuiting, vibing