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🧵 Thread (26 tweets)

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

I am learning that sometimes when people say "I'm intimidated by you" they mean "I think highly of you and I'm nervous about making a good impression" instead of "you are acting in an intimidating way and should be different" 🤯

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

so I can stop taking it as a huge insult 😂

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10/9/2023

⧨ falling forever@alex_with_ease• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels Haha, your defensiveness makes so much more sense now.

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @alex_with_ease

@alex_with_ease it's offensive!

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10/9/2023

⧨ falling forever@alex_with_ease• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels Not really? It's just an expression about their state of mind instead of an expression about you directly

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @alex_with_ease

@alex_with_ease I think it is cursed

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10/9/2023

⧨ falling forever@alex_with_ease• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels Mmh, sorry, seems like it bothers you quite a bit even knowing that is more about them than you. How is it cursed?

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

I still don't know how to respond gracefully. I'm like okay... good for you?.. or not,, I guess? 😬

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10/9/2023

Vivid Void@VividVoid_• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels They just mean "I feel timid"

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @VividVoid_

@VividVoid_ @RichDecibels literally what the word means

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@VividVoid_ @RichDecibels i don’t think anybody needs to be acting differently, but if the king is walking among his people, and they know he is the king, he is intimidating in this sense. it just is

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@VividVoid_ @RichDecibels he might be able do things that make him feel more approachable to people. make them laugh! give them visual cues he likes them. people might relax, be less timid

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@VividVoid_ @RichDecibels again, i don’t think anybody needs to be acting differently. it’s not uniquely anybody’s burden. every person in the situation just has option rich’s point about realising people being intimidated by you doesn’t mean you’re being a jerk or need to change anything stands

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@VividVoid_ @RichDecibels intimidating as meaning “this person is being threatening and mean” versus “people feel timid around this person”

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth @VividVoid_ I do so much of this I'm barely myself anymore

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels @VividVoid_ rip

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@RichDecibels @VividVoid_ definitely sounds nice to spend time not doing those things, and ideally being around people who don’t feel off put, or just letting time do the work of letting them get comfortable

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10/9/2023

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@RichDecibels @VividVoid_ the realisation you can just let people be uncomfortable for a bit and it’s ok https://t.co/9EDg2riPyb

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @VividVoid_

@VividVoid_ not quite. there's a difference between "I feel courageous" and "I feel encouraged"

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10/9/2023

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels I feel your pain fwiw I spent so much of my life in the shadow of angry, aggressive, violent, belligerent men and I swore so hard I would never be that person strove to be gentle and friendly and kind mfw some people call that intimidating lol

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10/9/2023

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

@RichDecibels I love what Taylor Tomlinson said to a standup audience abt how, if they felt uncomfortable at her dark jokes, “Good. I hope this is the worst experience of your life”. One of the cleverest things I’ve ever heard anybody say. Could say similar abt someone finding us intimidating

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10/9/2023

Visakan Veerasamy@visakanv• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

@RichDecibels I hope I’m the most intimidating person you’ll ever meet!

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10/9/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @visakanv

@visakanv thank you homie

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10/9/2023

Rick Benger@rickbenger• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels oh man... yeah. Glad the lid's off 🫂 had my own tilt on one like this, was curly

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10/9/2023

Fun Pilgrim@tasshinfogleman• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels "interpret this, also, as an expression of love" stay winning https://t.co/umPiqioPom

Fun Pilgrim@tasshinfogleman• about 3 years ago

it has served me well to readily translate a variety of speech acts into the sentiment "I like you"

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10/10/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• almost 2 years ago

Replying to @tasshinfogleman

@tasshinfogleman amen

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10/10/2023