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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

i was describing mourning the end of summer, and someone said "oh yeah, it's fall now. descent into winter" i… i had never considered that before. seasonality wasn't written into my bones

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

every year, for the last three years, around this time, i suddenly start hating my summer best friend, my life. the ease and confidence i had about my plan for life disappears im sullen and suspicious about the parts of my identity that have become too reified

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i started describing my woes to a friend when he said, "isn't this the same thing you said last sep?" he was just making a joke, about how much heat makes me happy and how laughably cold makes me unhappy https://t.co/MF85YN1DU8

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago

another day in la is no great loss https://t.co/kRT7VWNzUG

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

and for a while, i took it at that. im sad because it's cold winter was a waiting period till the next summer

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

seasonality still felt like an absurd proposition, to someone who was used to measuring his life in minutes and days. not a year or reasons i don't think i have an embodied sense of "being alive a year from now", to be honest. how could i relate to being seasonal?

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

the sadness i could deal with it. it was straightforward. the despair i couldn't. i doubted everything. i hated everything. i hated myself. i felt suspicious of my own actions

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there's something mythological to this image, and something deeply, plaintively true https://t.co/94lU6PEJC6

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

there are identities that have become reified. personae "im supposed to be", that no longer serve me, that no longer point in the direction of wild

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i am the manic pixie dream girl herself, walking barefoot, unafraid to put her idiosyncrasies on other people https://t.co/dO7fIs2Z87

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 2 years ago

over the next six months, something began to change

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i am the former self-hater, who has things figured out, who was hard on himself once, but has found a gentler, more easeful way of being

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i am the person who's figured out a happy life in LA, come a long way in this city, who's reached the end of seeking of itself, and has no more seeking

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i am none of these things. maybe they were brief expressions of me, but i am the movement itself as long as the movement is alive, i am alive https://t.co/BBnxjYmbWQ

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

> When a mother responds to anxiety with the intention to relieve it . . . >She directs herself to the individual (the current evolutionary organization) rather than to the person (the movement of evolution itself). https://t.co/H2uKX07zcl

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

something about grasping the seasonality of Fall lets me grasp This. the intelligence of the pain. the sheer necessity for that kind of pain, to break through an encrusting system. the raw intelligence of my body, the ultimate and final Wild Thing

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it's part of the earth it roams and came from https://t.co/JhVBxDAqbD

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago

they thing about wild things is they survive. they continue to be. there is no other purpose. there is none needed. they continue. that is all wild things do

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

something about me grasps seasonality. mentally, i make awed note at how coincidental it is my metaphorical fall coincides with seasonal fall. another part of me is unconcerned, and accepts it like it accepts that when thrown water falls https://t.co/1vw3J81Jps

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 3 years ago

it is a serious moment for the water when it falls https://t.co/c9vxw5g2jC

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

it's easy and difficult to describe what seasonability feels like in my bones. it's some sort of pre-mental acceptance, an expectation of what is to come

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9/28/2023
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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i have feelings about it, and still have favourite seasons, but in my heart of hearts, i don't wish to change it, because i love it a little bit in part because it's my land, my seasons, my seasons that i grew up with

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

once again, i think about this image. the pleasure this girl has in some unspoken way for the fruit, and the seasons, and the land that are hers, because she knows them https://t.co/94lU6PEJC6

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

https://t.co/9yaPjC0GnQ

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• almost 2 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

someone else describing it well https://t.co/ltuNQFmnEL

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