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Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 2 years ago

if you're trying to practice new relational skills but you're surrounded by immature people you'll keep getting negative feedback even if you're doing all the right things

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9/13/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

you need to develop meta skills at the same time as you develop your relational skills, like: - choosing the right people and places to practice - discerning signal and noise in the feedback you're getting

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Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

you could of course use this argument to justify being an asshole, ignoring perfectly reasonable feedback with the justification that "they're just immature" simply don't do this.

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Ra is DJing at Cascade Camp 9-12 to 9-15@slimepriestess• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels I've noticed this. It's very annoying and it took me way too long to realize I was getting emotionally abused because of it, I was too willing to just victim blame myself. I would really like to get away from the people in my life who are shitty to me.

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Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 2 years ago

Replying to @slimepriestess

@slimepriestess yo did you know "harm to them" and "harm to you" are equally bad! I seem to be surrounded by people who rate "harm to others" as infinitely bad but "harm to self" perfectly acceptable price to pay for living

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Ra is DJing at Cascade Camp 9-12 to 9-15@slimepriestess• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels Oh yeah I know, I just haven't figured out a way to extricate myself from my current housing situation.

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9/13/2023

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 2 years ago

Replying to @slimepriestess

@slimepriestess it'll happen, you figured out the hard bit, now it's just the material details need to fall into place

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9/13/2023

Ra is DJing at Cascade Camp 9-12 to 9-15@slimepriestess• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels well that and the not getting too much more fucked up in the meantime

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9/13/2023

Johnson (TC House Lisbon -Dec)@justavagrant_• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels I’m getting relatively practiced and still get negative feedback

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9/13/2023

Johnson (TC House Lisbon -Dec)@justavagrant_• about 2 years ago

Replying to @justavagrant_

@RichDecibels (Skill issue lmao)

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9/13/2023

ChrisD@sensefulronin• about 2 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels I’ve gotten good feedback when the group has a coherent social style even when people differ in stages of life. When most of them speak in a denotative matter (ie rats) or connotative (envisioning exercises), it’s easier to relate. Know the culture, know the cues, then bend them.

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9/13/2023