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Johnson (TC House Lisbon -Dec)@justavagrant_• over 2 years ago

When I make bids for connection, particularly in a physical/sexual way, being turned down triggers a shame spiral in me. Any suggestions for how I can repattern this behavior?

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4/26/2023
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Johnson (TC House Lisbon -Dec)@justavagrant_• over 2 years ago
Replying to @justavagrant_

I think I am continuing to fall into the bravado trap of “it’s ok to get rejected”. I think I’m actually terrified, not of the rejection, but of the shame spiral that I always fall into after it https://t.co/gd8bXKdEaS

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 2 years ago

ah, i can notice before making a bid with someone if i have feelings about it being rejected, and manage those it’s just a parallel thing to pay attention to. i don’t have to fix or solve it before reaching out

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4/26/2023
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 2 years ago
Replying to @justavagrant_

@justavagrant_ if that's true then i think the bid wasn't about sex. read the attachment book and do ideal parent figure protocol https://t.co/po3PozcEPL

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4/26/2023
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Johnson (TC House Lisbon -Dec)@justavagrant_• over 2 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

@QiaochuYuan Do you know the difference in role/function of IPF vs IFS? I’ve done a lot of the latter but not IPF. Or if you know any good resources

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4/27/2023
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QC@QiaochuYuan• over 2 years ago
Replying to @justavagrant_

@justavagrant_ ymmv but IPF is laser-focused on attachment stuff specifically. ime it can get to young preverbal stuff that IFS can’t get to as easily

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4/27/2023