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My mom gets extremely defensive. My whole life I had judgments like āshe doesnāt listen, she canāt admit fault, sheās unreasonable, obstinate, can only see her own perspectiveā. Later, I floated the label ānarcissisticā. I hated this about her, for how much pain it caused me
At age 5 she had to take trains to another city to ask for money from her dad, without any of her own. Basically she had to sneak onto trains as a little girl to her money for food. She was the oldest child, with little brother in a culture that prizes sons over daughters
From a young age she was already having to fend for herself, and play a caretaker role for a younger brother. Her father was often not around, and had gambling problems, among other problems. She never even got to be a kid š