🧵 View Thread
🧵 Thread (21 tweets)
no unconditional love without reciprocity my relationship with my wife is trustworthy bc we're mutually obligated to each other. to her I owe much of my self knowledge & emotional intelligence. so it was easy for me to stick by her side when she was chronically ill
love does not make lists. keeping accurate accounts of these mutual investments would destroy the bond. my kindness does not leave you in debt. but if there's nothing ventured, nothing can be gained. and if there's no reciprocity, the relationship starves
haha this is why the best people to date are a bit fucked up, but not too much, in complementary ways to your own shortcomings. if you date someone who doesn't need you, what would motivate them to care for you when you're a mess?
people flinch when I say "obligation", I think they're maybe reacting against the feeling of being trapped, or coerced, or scrutinised, or measured, or inferior or or or... but *obligation* is the sweetest thing. it's the little boy who takes the dog attack to save his sister
@RichDecibels yooo https://t.co/ili3TFAbx0
@RichDecibels boring version [don’t read] i promise you don’t want to be entangled in a mesh of mutual obligations you don’t want, and freedom might be a way out, till you are entangled in a mesh of mutual obligations you do want
@RichDecibels hopefully having dispelled the illusion that you can still act totally however you want without consequences, but also having truly realised that there is such a thing as genuinely much better and you didn’t have to accept it without never having explored
@RichDecibels https://t.co/WcMIZw1Nf1
