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I really love and enjoy activity X when I'm in a context where everyone around me is all doing X together, our social life is tied up in X. Outside that context I cannot make myself interested in X at all. Now, this is basically true for me in varying degrees for any activity X
I feel hung up on the notion that therefore I don't "really" enjoy X (ie, anything). Or rather: it feels very destabilizing and it hurts my ego to feel like EVERY one of my hobbies and preferences is contingent on those around me
I guess I just have to learn to accept this about myself?Or there's some other framing of this that's more useful?eg: yeah when I'm isolated in a little box away from nurturing optimistic people and my life is small, I am not interested in things...and that *makes sense*
These tweets brought to you by I am in a house in Florida with people who work all day and there is nothing around and I can't go anywhere bc the car is stick shift and I am getting a little sad and wilty and sometimes berating myself :(
@not_a_hot_girl It must be natural to enjoy doing things socially that other people care about. But purely external motivation won't carry outside that context; you have to find the internal drive. I think you can find it for many values of X, bc it's not so much about X but the approach to X.