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one of the challenges of growing up as a man is finding a place where you can just be emotionally sensitive and attuned and communicative and still make your life work https://t.co/GomhpcKSGP
if you’re surrounded by male bullies and women who love avoidant men, it’s not going to work. blaming them makes it worse solution is to literally just ignore them, build the circle of support and empathy with yourself and enough friends. it makes you less fuckable with https://t.co/muPOWfTVRn
let people have their culture, ask of yourself to build the social structures you need around you https://t.co/xilQ4KZhr1
this is a time-honoured technique for becoming less fuckable with https://t.co/zCnRiVBkG4
your friends, and the relationship you’ve cultivated with yourself, and the environments you’ve started to opt into change that in a way that doesn’t feel like suppression, but discernment https://t.co/TrfQ0eUjXx
people’s no becomes just a point of compatibility instead of a high stakes denial of needs you can just find other mutual “yes!”es https://t.co/0gskV3ohKs
you begin to have discernment. you don’t want to share as undiscriminatingly as before your discernment begins to put you in environments where that happens less often being around people becomes more about compatibility and finding a mutual yes than high-stakes needs https://t.co/r5BwKMpsmk
i wish i didn’t have had to work so hard to have started to build this relationship to myself and others but thank god for the internet, planes, and the discernment over the years that kept opting me into spaces and people closer and closer to helping me feel at home