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i don’t think i ever had this modelled to me in a way it was understood as healthy https://t.co/RSCM0Iivep
all monocultures are worth treating with suspicion. and there was something deeply missing in the monoculture of silicon valley i experienced a polyamory-esque, reinvented, more enlightened, enough-communication-can-solve-everything, ideals & think-with-head morality
>Whoever convinced young women that the secret of a healthy relationship is deep interpersonal understanding is guilty of some kind of a war crime. https://t.co/xBaiuYkWtl https://t.co/ceKBrhA2qp
there is no double a lot of nerds missing traditional developmental experiences, and thinking with ideals and the head first, and wanting to create their own status hierarchies, and attach their insecure attachment systems, will gravitate towards this system
this is a subculture afraid to impose on people. this is a culture deeply scared of attachment the secure-functioning people are largely underrepresented in tech. even when they’re present, they can feel almost invisible https://t.co/TFXq6xUBEn
as another example, “buffering people from your feelings” is another normal behaviour most people learn but in this culture, as i experienced it, this wasn’t modelled. not disclosing everything was, at worst, evil, at best, weak. it wasn’t just… normal. and considerate https://t.co/amWdog6M6Y
the cool thing about people who miss developmental experiences and have them later as adults is they’re often the people best and most gentle about explaining it to others https://t.co/APfh1ZDZg2
sometimes i wonder about people who write books like this. what led them to understand it so well? what experiences did they miss and later have? https://t.co/USBtyaSibt
sometimes people are put off by chakras bc gurus talk about it like it’s some theoretical unknown thing, some bit of reality not yet known to you but Judith Anodea’s book on chakras makes their experience feel visceral and known https://t.co/gd4KrhaZsl
there is so much experiential development that goes into healthy boundaries, templates for relationships, and connection to your feelings, and it’s possible to just begin meeting it at any moment https://t.co/khClWuDdlo
the thing about feeling your feelings is it makes you a safer and better person to interact with for everyone involved https://t.co/25VRxRJEwG
@AskYatharth fascinating. what’s the unspoken alternative to interpersonal understanding here? simple commitment to caring for and putting the other first? seems like putting the other first is best achieved when you can understand the other person well. either on their own seems incomplete