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🧵 Thread (5 tweets)
this was not a kid who felt safe he seemed like he had joy and pleasure, but it was from a very scared place, except very rarely. browsing wikipedia, being online, playing board games https://t.co/gpIHkQo0QE
“yeah, nothing particularly bad happened to me in my childhood” “yeah, i just treated it like a warzone where i had to isolate everyone from my true emotional state till i made it out” “yeah, i still look behind my shoulder sometimes. to see if the monsters are coming” https://t.co/m2rlzZHCPU
i wonder for how many “nerds” those were the only spaces that felt safe most other ports of communication were closed off, very rarely did things feel safe, so a retreat to the mind https://t.co/kENAiv2daZ
the weird part of twitter is documenting all these weird “huh, that’s odd” and coming back to them years later https://t.co/RhpaHfslYu
brain thoughts: “I’m experiencing a lot of internal violence.” “If there were other people around, they would see I’m super uncomfortable with myself, and unable to actually enjoy stuff.” “But as long as I’m alone, it’s actually reasonably functional and pleasant.” https://t.co/IPOp0NTcVZ
this kid did not feel safe around other people high-functioning making friends in new cities dating several people otherwise seeming normal ≠body does not feel like a warzone https://t.co/tWL19eiy6y