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un-self-ing development: I'm not interested in "self improvement" as if an individual is a bounded system that contains various habits, beliefs, skills & behaviour patterns that can be upgraded like a phone downloading a new version from the app store
of course we do change a great deal through our lives: we can eg. become less reactive to anger, more compassionate, or more tolerant of difference in my view, what's changing is not so much what's "inside of you" but outside: your environment, your context, your relationships
so for example you take psychedelics or your go to Burning Man, have a tremendously profound experience, but then struggle with "integration": your life is compartmentalised between "my work self" and "my true self"
according to me: you will fail to integrate so long as you look inwards integration requires you to change your context, renegotiate your existing relationships, remove some, and bring in new ones (eg you may need to move to a different job)
@RichDecibels IME most effortless is to put myself in contexts where it’s harder to not do the thing than to do the thing. So when I wanted to surf I went to a surf hostel where all my friends surfed and all the infrastructure was oriented around it. It would’ve been harder not to surf
@RichDecibels Sometimes I think of myself as a black box that I’m trying to learn about over time, and changing my contexts gives it new input is which give new outputs which generate learning and growth
@RichDecibels My current sense is that the final step of integration is bringing the changes into new (or old) contexts, eg practicing NVC with other enthusiasts, then finally bringing it into my most challenging relationships https://t.co/wtVI6SqdiM
@RichDecibels Interestingly this is true of your cells as well. Your cells are all capable of stem cell reversion under the right circumstances, and then re-differentiation into a new role. They can all play every role possible — but only in the right circumstance.
@RichDecibels stole this from someone, but i imagine the integration part is where a lot of the externalization should happen? https://t.co/doegbRGYzL
@RichDecibels ooo I was just reading sophie strand about something similar! "thinking about the problem is part of the problem, and our path forward is more about gardening & cultivating spaces that ask more of us" https://t.co/Rs4s7EPoYx
