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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago

have you ever heard the tale of the negative utilitarians? gather 'round, gather 'round, and i'll tell you all about it:

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8/30/2022
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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

now among those peoples who have accepted utilitarianism as their god and savior, the question must arise: how, in fact, might one come to know the True Utility Function? the one everyone is supposed to be (already is?) optimizing for? what is it? how would we know?

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

and lo, there came from the heavens an answer: "utility is the sum of quality-adjusted life-years over all human beings, amen. now go forth, my children, and optimize - " but wait! i hear you cry!

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

for is it not said, "QALY scores range from 1 (perfect health) to 0 (dead)"? and does this not imply that a believer in the QALY must believe, axiomatically, that life is preferable to death? and as proper empiricists, oughtn't we... *check*? https://t.co/OWDZpsgk6C https://t.co/jpPDXuUrQp

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

from that innocent question was born a thousand serpents, and chief among them was Strong Negative Utilitarianism, the belief that life is so full of suffering that death would be a relief, that the True Utility Function assigns a negative weight to each human soul

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

a negative utilitarian is someone who checked for themselves whether life is worth living and decided that the answer is no, not only for themselves but everyone else too, and yet who is somehow still alive

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

those negative utilitarians who have the gall to name themselves as such publicly without publicly making any effort to kill either themselves or the rest of humanity are dilettantes at best, cowards at worst, of course. a true negative utilitarian would never announce themselves

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

thus they creep in the shadows, unknown to those of us in the light, who i suppose must be named positive utilitarians by contrast. "boo!" the utilitarians say to their children around the campfire. "if you diminish utility the negative utilitarians will get you in the night!"

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

what is to be done about this disagreement? i hear you ask. isn't it one of the most important questions we could possibly want the answer to, to know whether it is *good or bad to be alive*? the mathematicians speak of their dreaded "sign errors," but this one -

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

( - whispers in the shadows, "what optimizes True Utility today may as easily optimize its negation tomorrow," which you brush aside - ) https://t.co/pKVngYgeBD

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

- might be *the biggest philosophical mistake it is possible to make*, the matter of this sign. so which is it? is it good or bad to be alive? is life a comedy or a tragedy? don't just stand there, goddamnit, answer me, answer me -

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

daylight questions get only daylight answers. by day we respect and wrestle with the great distinctions: yes and no, light and dark, good and bad, joy and suffering. but by night -

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

- in the dreamlands, when the waking mind slumbers and the sleeping mind is free, where distinctions become mist, where we come slightly closer to the gods and pray slightly more earnestly -

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

- in the dreamlands you come to a shrine on a hill. only the night creatures make noise. there isn't a cloud in the sky and you can see every star you approach the shrine. you pay the proper respects. you make the proper offering. and you open your mouth to ask again -

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

- but your breath catches. you've forgotten the question. it was a thing of daylight. here, now, in sleep, in dreams, something else has come to take its place. you open your mouth again and out comes -

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

- an egg. it deposits itself neatly on the grass. it is glowing slightly. you understand. you sit on the grass with it and wait an egg will hatch in due time and no sooner

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

and in due time what hatches from the egg is a small, delicate thing, of no particular color and slightly wet, and not quite right side up. it takes a moment to stand on its own two feet, pats itself, and says: "ask them how they know."

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

"ask them how they know whether life is worth living. ask them in the proper way and receive the proper answer, which is a story. that story is precious to them, and after you hear it, it will be precious to you also. ask them."

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

"it may not be a happy story. the most precious story in their heart might be the darkest one, clotted with old blood. yet still it is precious to them, and through knowing it you might come closer to them and they to you. ask them."

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8/30/2022
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Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️@Malcolm_Oceanover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

@QiaochuYuan Oooh, wasn't where I expected this to go, and I really like it.

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christine@christineistover 3 years ago
Replying to @QiaochuYuan

@QiaochuYuan ahhh QC!!! I really enjoyed this!!! totally transported into the dreamworld and of course an egg plopped out!

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QC@QiaochuYuanover 3 years ago
Replying to @christineist

@christineist thank u 🥲

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