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they exist within a changing field. it takes 2 to define and continually change and explore the field there’s an absolutely canonical thread from @ElodesNL everyone should read on this point https://t.co/YZJn9UBYom
@phallusoraptors from this perspective, the pertinent question isn't, "am I changing her boundaries?" it's, "does she have the space she needs to remain connected to her own boundaries (as well as to her own meta-boundaries)?" so long as she remains connected, you can basically try anything.
what do you do with someone who has bad boundaries? give them the space to stay in touch with their meta-boundaries https://t.co/OWL1JXvOPY
most of us aren’t very good at being that direct and explicit with these people. i’m not. “they talk too much.” “they’re probing too much.” well maybe it would be fine if i spoke up, but that’s too scary and unpleasant for me
it takes two to continually discover boundaries and it’s a shame to not treat them as mutable. bc beautiful things can happen when you do. bc mutable boundaries are the truth about the world https://t.co/YZJn9UBYom
@phallusoraptors from this perspective, the pertinent question isn't, "am I changing her boundaries?" it's, "does she have the space she needs to remain connected to her own boundaries (as well as to her own meta-boundaries)?" so long as she remains connected, you can basically try anything.
@AskYatharth Maybe boundary testing is a game where the goal is actually cultivating meta boundary respect, or meta trust https://t.co/Bxv3UjJgwo
I wonder in how many domains “Meta-x” is what you actually care about. For example, I think in relationships, one of the most important things is “meta trust”, trust that when (not if) trust is broken/someone is hurt, that you can heal/repair/reconcile