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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago

so i had an implicit model that i had to *make* people like me didn’t realise you can *let them* https://t.co/6JZIkpYPNq

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago

the keyword here— > there’s also just being yourself, and letting other people decide hey, that’s cool *letting* other people *letting*

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

this is the stuff ive been thinking about a lot https://t.co/0124I0JyI9

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

like i discovered others have control?? and agency?? they have set points and agency they can use in the world and i can allow them to?? i don’t have to *make* them do things or make them like me. that’s not how this works at all

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

short of coercion, gaslighting, etc— humans *decide* what they want to do, and then do that. i can only present, and allow them to come to this decision

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

(if you know any Perceptual Control Theory, you can appreciate the differenced this makes: https://t.co/4VnTDQi1ra)

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

there’s only two other books that had felt like with, with that degree of clarity and concision the second one was The Meaning of Control: Making Sense of Behavior by William Powers, on perceptual control theory https://t.co/ygI6O5ijHR

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

i can *allow* judgment i can *allow for* judgment i don’t have to subconsciously use my energy to try to force them to like me https://t.co/X5JrtssPDt

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

One of the most powerful pieces of advice I ever received: Allow judgment.

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yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 3 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

fuck- this is relieving. for literally everyone involved

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