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someone was ruminating recently on how yeah, okay, in 5 or so years he wants a family – a wife, children, etc – but not *next year*, which feels like it will be like this year, and so will the year after that. so how... does that happen? how does he become that person? when?
my suggestion is to become a dad, if that's what you want. yes, right now. you don't need a partner, you don't even need to have been on a date in the past 3 years. be inside the dad you imagine yourself wanting to be, and retire the bachelor.
it feels garish to outline the most obvious thing, which is that people will see you differently without you feeling like you've made much change at all. yes, this includes women. yes, this includes men. your coworkers, your family. how did they know? it's all your little secret
the way we trip ourselves up is by continuing to follow through on the choices of our past while we feel like we ought to want something else for ourselves in the future, and this way the "chore" of becoming that grown up self knows it is uninvited in your life
this is what we mean we say "make room for" what you want in your life. make the psychological changes, make yourself into who you want to be, and meet the people you're supposed to have met, who have themselves already made these choices, on the other side.
the caveats and nuances here: becoming too forceful about it is oppressive and gross. it needs to be a relaxed becoming, or a listening to what "feels right" for you luck plays a big role. preparation is most of it, but luck is real. she's a tricksy lady.
epilogue i could speak for hours about preparation and opportunity, and still it will not have been enough i’m drinking my coffee and i have Things to Do in my last full day paris today so i can’t chat forever but also let me try one more time to say it clearly
@nvpkp there's a mystic whose work i love named Neville Goddard, and what you describe here is the heart of his philosophy. assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled, and so it will be. i am a wealthy, powerful game developer, and so shall my world reflect it what are you becoming, nv?
@nvpkp 100%. I became a dad and that immediately set me on the path to meeting my wife https://t.co/jzATPdZbeD
In my early twenties dating sucked for me. Then I fell into a long-term long-distance relationship. This forced me to think about proposing, which forced me to think of myself for the first time as a potential husband and father. Then she dumped me. After that dating was great.
@nvpkp Often have to remind people: no one is coming to give you the life you want no one is secretly watching you closely and then throw you a surprise party with that outcome you dream about you have to actively act every day to make your dream a reality
@nvpkp “I just thought there would be more” https://t.co/zpXCa7nUYk
@nvpkp this is really amazing advice, but the tone of your writing is the opposite of motivational imo. you're actively pushing away people who need to hear it. i think you should stress how easy, fun and rewarding it is to make those (personality) changes.