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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

when i wasn’t a real person, being alone was terrifying, because then i was all alone

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

it’s weird, coming to terms with being a real person it’s something like . . . other people don’t have anything i particularly don’t have? their opinions aren’t somehow more real. their opinions are made of the same stuff as mine

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

“really? i just get to make shit up and that’s somehow the way things are?” “yeah. that’s sorta how it works” shit. welcome to reality

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

welcome to the reality no one told you about, where there aren’t “other people” anymore (adults), who sort of check your answers where you start checking your own answers, against your internal sense-making https://t.co/qlmGmhvvJu

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

You become an adult when you realise there is no such thing.

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

objects are me, i am objects https://t.co/U2EZwlkBTJ

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

told @keta_mean_ today that basically the only way i survive now given how much contact, snuggles, appreciation, presence i need is by living in a world that is magical where objects, fields, skies speak to me https://t.co/YCBOenz9P5

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

something feels safe about objects i can commune with objects, without feeling terrified ill have to “explain”

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3/26/2022

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

justifying feels like shit i’m terrified that’s going to make me lose control, or if i can’t explain it, it won’t exist anymore https://t.co/2uVONuc14X

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

I just want to do what I’m doing without justifying it to anyone.

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

“feelings have no real-world utility until i justify them” can you see how i learned that https://t.co/WmUB3KrkJ6

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

im realising, as an adult, if i feel a scarcity of socks . . . i can just order more socks previously, as a kid, i would have had to justify why i need more socks, and i sort of internally knew i would lose that argument

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

whereas it’s exactly sort of the opposite my feelings are the only reason to really live one way or the other. anything is possible. wanna order more socks? i can anything is allowed, as long as i can survive https://t.co/nirrmLy7DA

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

while buying stuff, realising: i don’t always have to get right exactly how much i need i can pay extra for the abundance i want to feel

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

my feelings are the only thing making life real to me right now every moment, every little step, there is a sense of reality that comes from within me i have the thing that i thought was only in other people. i have the right to create a reality, as long as i can stay solvent

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

https://t.co/cqNvpRAVX1

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 3 years ago

who gives me permission for this shit, i don’t know it’s moving from a system of schools, parents, employers, etc., where you “ask for permission” and you are fine

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