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lately my relationship with doing things has changed. when i am doing something & i want it to hurry or end, i notice it and ask myself what would i rather do? i have no concrete answer, i was just trying to not engage with the present moment & then i continue doing it.
when i start procrastinating, i notice that i am doing it & it feels completely empty & devoid of meaning & i stop it immediately.watching videos, twitter etc. all have a quality of emptiness very hard to put into words, but it all feels fake, like i was under a spell
"Perhaps the fundamental lesson of this experiment was that the vast majority of my internet use simply serves to delay the rest of my life. It’s a way of momentarily escaping the responsibility of using my life intentionally — a ripcord I apparently want to pull constantly. "