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the nebulous popularity kind of reality has its own reality to it, but its less and way more neurotic to life in if you're only living it this is the lifestyle of hollywood celebrities and pop stars, who have no friends or routines to ground them
those things are real, but they are not as real, and if you only have them, you will be driven crazy https://t.co/comlDeNsLn
(or sociopathically manipulate it to excellently work for you, but that wasn't a great way to live either i succeeded at manipulating what institutions and people thought of me, but it didn't feel real) https://t.co/dEDxeCepR8
all i had for a while was what other institutions and people thought about me. and because i was excellent at it, i didn't notice https://t.co/PVSTVYVnz0
"excellence" is a vgr term. it means perfectly being able to give the system what it's looking for (e.g. perfect startup founder to invest in. perfect scores) "mediocre" is just barely surviving or barely being able to make the system work for you
hyper-attuned to that neurotic reality, and nothing else https://t.co/Mj6v3r0hWv
when the mind was the only thing real to me, that too was neurotic because it’s being attuned to something that is highly fast-paced, very symbolic, very easy to get stripped from anything real. like social reality the body, and friendship are grounding https://t.co/1NNQ8YSaLe
reading Merleau-Ponty allowed me to begin perceiving my own habit-body just because i, my consciousness, was happy, didn’t mean by body was whether or not my body felt loved was a lived set of habitual responses; it was something else entirely from my cognitive layer
what do i mean by "real"? something like this: https://t.co/AyAgeCY2mf