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i'm most excited by the way the experience feels different, in a way i think i can track and recreate. like, it's not exciting from having done anything particularly amazing in the past few days. it's more like i've learned something about the core mechanics of "decisiveness"
it's not that the 5s gain is cool, it's that i fell like i'm orienting to things in a fundamentally different way. leg brushing on gear enters awareness, understanding of potential future problems, look up, see spot to pull over, do it. contrasted with/
/leg brushing on gear entering awareness, i register that I now have a "problem" that is "annoying" and has to be "dealt with", there's some ughing at the problem, there's some resentment at having the "problem", there's weighing suck of problem against "annoyance" of fixing