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one of the surprising, unfortunate things about resolving inner conflict is sometimes it doesn’t work out in the way i expected https://t.co/OHRBjXck9E
conflict between “i want to go to the gym” “don’t wanna go to the gym” no problem! yatharth uses [introspection] result: no more pressure to go to the gym https://t.co/H6uVDvp0Ki
William T. Powers tell us this makes sense that this is what negotiation this, the only true alternative to inner conflict it’s when both parties accept the possibility that it may be their side for whom it is reasonable to change their desires https://t.co/mdL4z4BBBi
from there, it’s really hard to say anymore that there is no reason you should change you might genuinely get, as i did, an outcome that leaves you flabbergasted and maybe surprised and maybe even with a little bit of a chuckle as the thing you didn’t expect gets relaxed
there is, however, as he points out, no alternative, unless you are willing to continue to live that way https://t.co/qWT1slHuGl https://t.co/gjHQimzoM9
i find this pattern repeatedly comes up *pressure about needing to sleep* *inspects pressure, goes up one level higher* finds out it’s actually not disastrous to not sleep that way and it’s fine and actually reorganises around not finding it a big deal
the postscript is i found my way to the gym a year or so later, in my own way and perhaps for the first time in my life? it felt really fucking good https://t.co/pmxA1aTNGV
“why am i talking about any of this” https://t.co/t2th8Olh4C
@Tjdriii i felt that pressure wrt sleeping today, and i was reminded of my experience with going to the gym deescalating translating it from “this is a horrible thing you must absolutely not do” to “heck yeah! im alive! have i considered this sleeping on time thing? it’s great”
my continual progress seems to be towards deescalation finding the rules i learned were turned too tight, and finding looser ways to rederive them, not quite in the same shapes https://t.co/Y4BxCOb8fR
They’re unlearning the lie that it was 𝘣𝘢𝘥 to lose $30. They’re unlearning the lie that it’s a 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 to lose $30. It’s none of those things actually. Losing $30 isn’t a big deal. But acting as if it was WAS a lindy rule to keep you from ruin. https://t.co/911jobA1tk
the point is still the same, and i think @nosilverv (who initially coached me through the gym thread) would agree that there genuinely is a sort of willingness that may be sprung upon you to give up on the thing you came to parts work to fix