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okay so i've been asked for more details about the sexual practice i mentioned the other day. in short, the practice is to masturbate for ~20m without porn and without allowing yourself to ejaculate, just paying attention to sensation https://t.co/b8NqQT0CfT
without porn and paying attention to sensation i started noticing various things. i was told to pay attention to tension in my legs in particular and indeed i noticed i tensed the hell out of my legs while masturbating, and tried to stop
this next but i don't remember clearly but one day while doing this and feeling the large amounts of sexual energy, i did some unexplainable motion of "taking the brakes off" and suddenly started shaking a crapton https://t.co/m5Ens9kBOI
there are parts of my process or my practice or w/e you wanna call it that are actually pretty important but idk how to talk about them. one is a move that is like “allowing the body to do what it wants” and that’s where all the shaking and hyperventilating come from
i don't think i really understood what was going on there at the time. now i think they were basically trauma shakes related to sexual trauma, the kind of shaking peter levine talks about wrt somatic experiencing. very sadly i do not have a good link for introducing this concept
the shakes vary a lot in how "automatic" they feel vs. how much i'm "doing" them or like, holding open a door so they can come out. with trauma release exercises (TRE) i was occasionally able to have almost completely automatic-feeling shakes but mostly it's partly "manual"
i don't really know how to describe what it feels like. it sometimes feels like something good and natural is happening and i just have to let it keep happening, like a cry or a poop. sometimes like that + more "friction," like more resistance to it
i stopped shaking for awhile because the "friction" sensation didn't feel entirely safe and indeed apparently there are risks here @hormeze talks about sometimes https://t.co/yaZhjLN39h
for me now the shaking is something i dip into and out of to metabolize a particular kind of energy that isn't at all specific to sex, and it feels cleaner and smoother and safer which is great. but this sexual practice is how i found it first
if i had a suggestion for someone who was interested in shaking it miiight be to do a trauma release exercise, there are videos on youtube but the one i was using was taken down, and idk what safety warnings are appropriate so proceed at your own risk https://t.co/71ERSX1CFw