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WOW the lit available on consensual nonmonogamy has gotten so much better since I last looked in 2017. Good job, collective unconscious 💖 Polysecure - Jessica Fern https://t.co/GoD92wiQqm
"When primal attachment panic gets mislabeled as jealousy, the partner experiencing it can be left thinking that there is something wrong with them. ... However, when people are able to identify this experience as primal panic, a new path forward opens up together."
THANK YOU FOR THIS DISTINCTION. I'd internally rederived it, feels good to be seen. When I'm jealous, I feel - angry, activated, defensive. But there's another mode where I literally feel stabbed. Pure pain, & fixation on relational repair. "Primal attachment panic" fits this.
Jealousy comes w stories - "I bet X is so much better than me, accessing something I want yet my partner's excluding me - FUCK EM." Also, often, desire to sabotage & destroy. Attachment panic? "everybody's fine, nobody's wrong or bad, ALSO I HURT SO MUCH AND CRAAAAVE LOVE NOWWW"