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I just learned that the brain cells in my butt are neurodivergent and it is grammatically incorrect to call them "neurodiverse".I'm sorry, I should have said "in my Enteric Nervous System". Wouldn't want anybody confused about what I'm talking about.https://t.co/n8vWOcbPJ3
Am I using that wrong? It's because i'm literally autistic and word are hard. I'm also trying to make a complex joke about idiosyncratic language using idiosyncratic language.https://t.co/ixQYA8kwjvI'm interested in teaching my ENS to talk, you see...https://t.co/TETQSPy8y3
If I wanna teach my stomach to talk like a dog, do you think it's OK to try farting at a mailman?https://t.co/TZr2ync4le
I wanna be a comedian, but I'd probably bore you to tears if I got up on a stage and talked to myself. But hey, at least one of us will laugh.https://t.co/nOE0wRymVO
Watching a bunch of skits by a comedian who has more trouble pronouncing things than I do. Here's one where he's complaining about not having a talking dog and this cheers me up.https://t.co/UIhMrQB9td
I couldn't even be one of those silent clowns without accidentally the wrong word.https://t.co/BH04fWhXrJ
I am bad at mime'ing, and interpreting mimes. Generally I do not understand gestures/am bad at charades.Without sound, one interpretation of how to mime sadness of dropping ice cream is: act of fellatio and then being sad it went everywhere.😅https://t.co/WWZWqEYQjD
I wonder what poor SOB has to listen to my attempts at talking to voice assistants when I can't get out of bed. That person needs a raise - having to listen to me try to speak clearly 8 times in a row?https://t.co/dEpFbIAkOi
Did you know that 70 million people in the world are safe from the sorvaleance pantawptacon? Stuttering is like a privacy super power.https://t.co/0QctRvhOBa
I find it funny when I ask Google Home a question and it replies "did you mean [something really fucked up that no person should ever say outloud]". Because then I just answer "yes" as at that point I've given up trying to be understood.I learn so much weird shit by mistake.
I go to look up Clinomorphism and it says that it's a mistake to classify autistic types as "mentally retarded" and talks about high IQ, but links to a page on Intellectual disability that basically lists off why I call myself mentally retarded.
Sure I can solve knot theory problems, but I can't fucking tie my shoes half the time. https://t.co/mnnY4TPChv
Is this a joke? My life is a joke.https://t.co/sPDkyUoK6W https://t.co/OhjgxrNMGo
Speaking of being a joke; I find it fumy how IQ and anxiety are associated in ASD because I was literally scared of my own shadow at one point. Peter pan's shadow was horrifying to me.https://t.co/C60UUer4xY
Did you know that self-deprecating humor actually has a culturally mediated component?You might not find this kind of humor palatable if you are autistic. I don't like it—or myself—either.https://t.co/OD5LoISZko
Broca's aphasia is when you try to run search routine to find a word, but it segfaults and returns early.https://t.co/3vEK304rYD
If I ever figure out to teach the dog in my butt talk, I can use this as an alternate way to correlate how much of a grumpy ass hole I am.https://t.co/cx2lBZ9DFv
I feel things when I read writing. Empathy?"Larger negative emotion vocabularies correlate with more psychological distress and poorer physical health. Larger positive emotion vocabularies correlate with higher well-being and better physical health."https://t.co/znawzDWHTg
I derived the dog barking idea via building a DIY condenser microphone to listen to carpenter ants."We used [tech] that was originally created to track the munching sounds of termites to see if we could detect problems in the human gut." https://t.co/ehUiWWCl80
I joke about my brain being a hive of excited bees. But I take that more literally when I think of about the bees in my ENS. > Experienced beekeepers recognize sounds as they work bees: “You hear and see personalities — agitated, angry, hungry, calm,” https://t.co/3sY7bB4neb
I'd say that I take the idea 'more seriously', but I can't say ENS with a straight face anymore."I'm pretty sure it's not from facial palsy" ape says with a sideways smirk.https://t.co/6zLK2Xj4LH 🤣
Lots of people recommend training myself to be better able to 'watch what i'm saying'.I completely overlooked the social aspect and now literally take pictures of myself when I slur. I figure when people are saying I have bad language, it might be from from some kind of palsy.
I like the idea of encouraging people into using more inclusive language.It will hide how I use "we" and "us" all the time when I mean "myself". And help me to avoid problems with rigid language and difficulty with new words & language inflexibility. https://t.co/5BrvgvvwJ1
I often wonder how others view me. Is my behavior coming off as toxic? Does my dysphemistic language and radical honesty come off as rude and negative? Do I drag down the people around me? What kind of organizational structure would protect others from my toxic attitude?
(not a joke: I struggle with inclusive language and part of why I make these threads is to practice with puns and re-framing words quickly so that I can be more flexible with my language and hopefully be more inclusive while taking out frustrations i have with myself.)
Tired: Mean one thing, say anotherWired: Mean one thing, say your motherInspired; Mean one thing. In fact be so angry at it that you accidentally say three different things with the same word and confuse everyone including yourself because you have problems with ambiguity.
I thought about using "primary enteric nervous system" and grouping the sympathetic+parasympathetic system as simply the "secondary enteric nervous system" as a mnemonic.But decided against it because it would be confusing and vulgar to write pENS sENS (penis sense) so often.
It would work really well as a mnemonic for much the reason why this joke works.https://t.co/pHjYRqLXY9But perhaps inappropriate to use in most cases.
The irony is that it wouldn't even technically be wrong. Erection is largely controlled by the autonomic nervous system https://t.co/7tajIJD5KP and is involved quite a bit in how you sense your penis. https://t.co/yC8mRzRsHz
I wasn't taught how to swear appropriately. Fuck me."Instead of teaching Malcolm to stop swearing, we would teach him how to do it correctly and appropriately, so he could avoid confrontations with authority figures and get along with other kids." https://t.co/dXDHso0gvU
No Miracle CuresA Multifactorial Guide to Stuttering TherapyBy Thomas David Kehoe 2006https://t.co/feYA22tTkPhttps://t.co/9KUZzVX6fW https://t.co/OcGC27QjLY
@lopalasi @SilverJacket @NewYorker I'm in the middle of a project that allows me to quantify my M.S. associated immune function by the tone of my voice because of changes in testosterone and estrogen impact muscle tone and mitochondrial function. I sound more childlike to others when my estrogen is elevated. 🤔
Soon!https://t.co/Hd6RxARB2FJoyous day /s
"Automated phone interfaces also pose problems. For instance, she said it is not uncommon for her to spend up to 40 minutes on hold, only to be dropped from a call by a machine operator when she can’t get any words out."https://t.co/vvT334195Y
All the better to listen to you with, my dear.https://t.co/rDa7u0xD6xhttps://t.co/Vwal9OZDIo
Talking to bots has helped me get a better handle on how to interpret and use sarcasm.https://t.co/QHRj60j8aZ
The jokes write themselves.https://t.co/7MpcKsxVry
"team says it backs up the hypothesis that the ENS is in fact the 'first brain' rather than the second one – suggesting that it may have evolved in animals a long time before our actual brains took their current form."https://t.co/eypfzhOuHDLol butts.https://t.co/t3L7MHKBK8
Had a lot of issues today and now my brain is funk'ed."If you describe something or someone as funky, you mean that they are stylish and modern in an unconventional way."https://t.co/fI7Jeq9bY1
Tried to ask my GF to get me some food because I couldn't move my right leg. I struggled to describe what I wanted.In other news "meat balls" are now "round animals"as in "could you irradiate the round animals?" and "I want heated round animals."
I ran out of round animals that live in my cold closet. You know, the ones that live under the place where angry bean juice hisses and growls at me.https://t.co/RijCmJfw72
There's like a 50/50 chance that even when I can use words, they are like one or two hops of free-association away from the actual semantic frame I'm trying to summon. https://t.co/OExhUnLUC2
Why use little words, when the big ones do?"The basic idea is that one cannot understand the meaning of a single word without access to all the essential knowledge that relates to that word." https://t.co/SJUz9DYw7b
The joke's write themselves. Autobiographic humor.https://t.co/vE4q2DjOq2
I changed my profile to the joker because I think it's funny to call myself a Retarded Autistic Psychopath.If I get banned for this post it would give me joy because gatekeeping is my fetish. Go ahead, click that report button. I'm a sadist. Turn me on.https://t.co/hwZnAoM8WE
I was told that having high SAT scores is a socioeconomics privilege. So when I took a SAT prep in highschool that was only offered to low-income first generation college students it was a real eye opener.They told me there was nothing they could teach me cuz I scored too high.
I stopped having trouble talking to google.After eating literal dog feces because of not being able to access healthcare or get on my own disability?My neurological disorder just... went away. I stopped stuttering and suddenly could use words better.https://t.co/idkSFBsEOm
Funny enough, at this point I'm glad I couldn't get on disability, access to healthcare, or even jump thru hoops for foodstamps.Not being able to eat speed up decline & made me desperate. My mom OTOH? Got absolutely shafted.https://t.co/LIMpcKSEoEhttps://t.co/3gpbWddoM8
I love being gaslit about my privilege. I lean into it cuz they are right. My male privilege of not being able to get into a shelter or social services when I was absolutely fucked was a blessing. Now I can help the valued women in my life feel better. https://t.co/zxNIPH6nPX
My entire childhood was spent gaslit when I complained about my pain. Except by my mom.I'm told I was a hypochondriac. Or my mom had Munchausen by proxy.Her pissing her self from bladder problems & trying to ask for help w/ her health was read as doctors as seeking attention.
As an autistic I'd be a good politician; I talk so much I don't even let others get a chance. "a political procedure in which one or more members of a legislative body prolong debate on proposed legislation so as to delay or entirely prevent decision." https://t.co/Gr5ZyUoR3u
The trouble is: even if I was able to do a stand-up routine during a congressional session? everyone would have heard it before.https://t.co/4DgtPVhZWM
If I became president do you think I can claim to be the first openly retarded individual to run for office?https://t.co/tzi7yE5lnu
I also have the urge to run after cars for some reason. That might just be hormones.https://t.co/KuUw7dedwn
I am being told that taking back the term "retarded" is something only a retarded person can do.Well then, call me an idiot savant then.https://t.co/wmltaOEaHW
Look, just because I have exceptional math and language skills and can score well on standardized testing doesn't mean I'm functionally retarded, ok?https://t.co/DZ2bGGCabm
Speaking of retarded. I bet that half the time I jokingly said "in my ANUS?" that the retarded part of my brain was trying to tell me about how it might be enteric nervous system related. That happens to me sometimes.https://t.co/8Y5Le5lMF9
Whelp."This opens up an entirely new arena in which to study the roles of glutamate in gut function and presents potential new target sites for drug development."https://t.co/Dxa0BCLbWthttps://t.co/vWNBHP9sw5
I have that thing in my head Terry Davis had. But where his can help him find bugs and likes to crack jokes, mine is just a retarded psychopath who screams at me and tells me jokes about rude parts of biology. Might call him Zizek for a while.https://t.co/7ICnbW5Iiz
I have a subprocess running in my brain that is basically a meme of zizek pointing out interesting toilets. https://t.co/Xth2CQuwbf
A way to a man's heart is his ENS.https://t.co/AlEf8qxIbe
"team says it backs up the hypothesis that the ENS is in fact the 'first brain' rather than the second one – suggesting that it may have evolved in animals a long time before our actual brains took their current form."https://t.co/eypfzhOuHDLol butts.https://t.co/t3L7MHKBK8
> "Learn how the enteric nervous system (ENS), a network of nerve cells in the digestive tract, influences your mood, health and cognition"https://t.co/ofi6fM8KXX😆https://t.co/O9SOz2JGge
People don't get my poop jokes, there's too much gallows humor. https://t.co/CVhfv5u55C
I can gauge my approximate health by how much my heart rate spikes while taking a shit. Hopefully one day the FDA allows for HRV measurement via smart watches and I'll be able to track my vagus tone even better.https://t.co/Dc8cnkwMsN
Then maybe I wont die because of my angry ENS.https://t.co/g2LTM3sYFM
Petting that dawg, so my ENS is happy again.And I by that I mean, I'm coming off of a weird month long head cold. It's nice to be able to breath again.https://t.co/JF5Kw8LxnN
