🧵 View Thread
🧵 Thread (8 tweets)
different people may have different problems 1. not talking to enough people 2. not flirting with enough of the people you have chemistry with from 1 3. not escalating enough from 2 by 3 you shouldn't be single anymore if you don't want to be. most people are scared, I think https://t.co/SIukpHTzw7
so then the parallel set of questions become why are you scared to talk to more people why are you scared to flirt why are you scared to escalate fears of disapproval, rejection, mockery, etc half of these can be dismantled by disambiguating truly costly vs innocuous failures,
and the other half of it is you have to cultivate the courage to articulate what you want and fckn go for it https://t.co/h6fCYAqbSV
@davidfactorial take baby steps at the edge of your comfort zone even "trivial" things like trying unfamiliar candy reflect on times in your life where you were courageous, revisit and reinhabit those states seek out other courageous people, it's contagious encourage others as much as you can
I don't have any experience with dating apps (I got married long before any of that nonsense, phew) but personally I wouldn't look for dates on one. It's too direct. It turns things into a job interview. I would instead just chat up loads of acquaintances, friends-of-friends
so like chat/zoom/have coffee with ~500 people casually-socially, and pay attention to how I feel about each of them, see how the chemistry is going, is there a spark, etc. then followup where I feel compelled to, and sense that the other person is compelled to me, too
caveat: my strategy/style is obviously shaped by my own personality, as a prolific guy whose solution to most problems is "outmaneuver and overpower the mf with brute force and some thoughtfulness" there are likely alt strats that work, this is just the shape of mine
a thing i do worry about from time to time is ppl looking at me and thinking "oh, that guy seems to have stuff figured out, I should try to be more like him". yes & no– you shd try to be more like *your* best self, not me you are already someone's type! https://t.co/F55KP1pQ4F