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a steadily growing follower count is cool, but when you start getting an increasing volume of āthis changed my lifeā type feedback thatās really a whole ānother level of something. Like I have to recalibrate my self-image and psychology to accept this appropriately
@visakanv Oh yeah this was a weird experience for me - didnāt want to diminish the fact that people were saying it and meaning it which meant that I had to become someone who could just say āamazing, thank youā
@m_ashcroft Yup! I also like to try and give people a little homework, inspired by Andy Groveās example here https://t.co/KUj1Effchx
@m_ashcroft yea, thereās some āpay it forwardā energy (help me help the next person!), some āyou can help me in turn by giving me insight into your experienceā reciprocity. accept the compliment of course, hold it for a beat, and then [claps hands together, rubs] alright next thing!!
@visakanv do you think that more potentially borderline parasocial relationships are a natural consequence of openness? It's seemed that way to me. Hard emotional boundaries are easier to manage than what you're raising, but they're also incompatible with certain valuable goals
@visakanv oblique is good. Speaking sometimes at a more abstract level can permit addressing the right issues, without being a personal advice-dispensing guru to individuals, which is ... bottomless frankly emotional labor is labor and labor can't be unlimitedly free
@forthrighter yea- part of my long game is to train/teach/recruit other people who are also willing and able to do the thing, so itās like a āmesh networkā of emotional labor, people helping people. I should not be the bottleneck or point of failure. Or at least, try not to be
here is my nerdy depedestalizing thought: itās tempting to associate ālifechangingā with some kind of moral quality, but IMO itās mainly a function of specialisation. I specialise in thinking abt certain things ā lets me save people time. Chefs, tailors, can change your life too