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you can’t bully someone into being a good person because you simply reinforce that bullying is how you get things done https://t.co/AL25HAC4dE
even if the “other” monster is defeated, the monster in you remains https://t.co/eXnfUjAB7e
@visakanv A thing I've been thinking about recently since watching https://t.co/yUlMi9Qa6S is that one of the big problems with punishment for behaviour change is that *even if it works* what you get is someone who wants to do bad things and feels guilty about that.
@DRMacIver I’ve gone a step further and I focus on encouraging people to want to do good things. In my experience, focus on that hard enough, well enough, and eventually the “bad” desires wither away in service of the good
@visakanv I think the problem with pure focusing on good things is that often bad behaviour exists to fulfil some need and you need to actually work on figuring out what that is and finding a better way to achieve that. Sometimes focusing on the good is enough, sometimes it's not.
@DRMacIver yup figuring out the needs is 💯 With the smoking eg it’s multivariate: diet (blood sugar levels), social, etc. Have to figure out superior replacements for every one of the sub-factors before you can dislodge the central beast
@visakanv https://t.co/6GqOGvED0s