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it’s not that i won’t fall behind in the race. it’s that maybe that race was worth falling behind on. https://t.co/cKVwQHPyqE

maybe, later on, i’d want to run fucking fast anyway. but i would be freeeee https://t.co/GGuseZfpmf

These days, I wake up, and I feel tense. It’s a familiar kind of tension. It’s the tension of my worrying mind having woken up before me. I barely remember there is such a thing as enjoying the moment, or feeling freeeee, because I didn’t have those things most of my life. https://t.co/kVR2UGZpGT

stage 1. focused on race stage 2. realised can go explore stage 3. can go back to enjoying racing, but this time, still 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦. sovereign somehow https://t.co/PsuhpGKR2o

it’s not that i wanted the cope to lose life. it’s that i wanted to feel sovereign even as i engaged in winning the games i wanted to play https://t.co/4WnCWNmZ8J

💀 societal broke: drill into kids: they better work hard → to be “good” 🦄 liberal woke: tell traumatised adults they have “inherent worth” → so they can be loved ✨ meaningness bespoke: dismantle learned emotional schemas to love yourself because you f’ing want to

to be a bigger egregore myself than the egregores of the hustle i was dealing with https://t.co/RMnnKT0GWn

or rather, to be so empty, i could arise from me/being every moment https://t.co/NlJvHJmaLs

the child prodigy that develops enough of a definition and sense of self, to be able to throw away the game or try at it with a sense of autonomy https://t.co/jMkY3K6jSp

to escape the drama of a life of felt imposition, or lives we don’t authentically really care about living https://t.co/sJR9Q3Nlyv

to return to felt agency https://t.co/RsNJisNdaU