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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

[speak from your heart, yatharth] [what’s up?] I feel welcomed & supported by this music now. I feel it internally. Like an ally. This music is me. It supports me. I call on it and trust it as part of my system, because I know it likes me. https://t.co/WjaLrcV7TG

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

I don’t know why I found a sense of home and deny it. https://t.co/CJQvmMBiZZ

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

currently listening to Ayla Nereo - Stars https://t.co/mMzIjmRxsV

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

> why? why this, why now? when previously you rejected the hippie/spiritual music i still don’t feel at home with Yaima - Gajumaru. for whatever reason. it feels like my aesthetic, what i want to point people to

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

but it doesn’t feel like me, i don’t trust it, in the same way i do Ayla Nereo - Stars this just is > why, what about Yaima? she feels external. like this spiritual song i am straining toward // straining to understand. still considering it “other” than me. not part of me https://t.co/5uFnXfVZkx

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

I feel I cannot give it to myself, because I am not pretty. I am not aesthetic like the like the pretty ones. Like the artists. https://t.co/66KxcOt8zC

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

rather than Ayla Nereo, who feels like it’s coming from inside. she’s part of something and someone i trust. like Lyra from His Dark Materials. like people who are lonely yet happy they are not dismissing some part of me i am not ready to dismiss yet https://t.co/PZSQpCDzuD

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

actually, it’s like this when i don’t have to explain to them why Loneliness is a not a Bad thing but i also don’t have to make it a good thing either i can sort of maintain just an actual response to it; hold it in unvalenced space https://t.co/J01qRiiiSh

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

they feel allied to my coherence, continuity, and sovereignty they feel allied to . . . me https://t.co/DULZlv2ut6

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

@made_in_cosmos @empathy2000 Another aspect of this is a sort of felt safety—it’s important that people respect your current thinking & value set ~as a living being, and let you evolve from within it safely (adding screenshot for people who don’t follow @AltYatharth) https://t.co/7RyWSdGlxp https://t.co/4RtB6YSHml

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

that’s all i have to say really that that song felt like me. it felt internal. it felt allied. it felt like it was supporting me a home of me, something i get to build, with my coherence and my aesthetics, on my terms rather than constantly striving to go outside myself https://t.co/F3ctkv4Rnr

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

- i still want people to like me - i still want things to come to me but they get to come to me now, in my home instead of me constantly abandoning myself, like i wasn’t a real person running so fast just to keep them here

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