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🧵 Thread (9 tweets)

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

I don’t know how I could tolerate being complimented, shown interest in, or smiled at at on the street without Hot Girl energy.

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7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Hot Girl energy ~= feeling into the rightness of being loved When it’s only right that I am loved, it's only right that I love other people :) Love from an unlovable person is unwelcome, so it's harder to smile back that way.

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7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

When I don’t believe the rightness of being loved, I feel - it is wrong to love me - if they love me, it is with a shell of me - this will only cause more pain [because it will]

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7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

I interpret their love not as about me, but some mask, since I am unlovable. So I knowingly, dramatically, martyr myself and fall on the sword of the terrible mask I must play and am unhappy. https://t.co/cffhEgwlRX

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

It hurts when people want to use you as an actor. You are the “cute” actor in their lives. You are thus disembodied and not truly loved. https://t.co/zOQ2HUsT9J

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4 0

7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

And she doesn’t get to experience the full range of me either.

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7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

This is drama. https://t.co/b53B3Ygwz9

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

The mind wants to generate all these sorts of dramas. “Ohhh, if I martyr my desire to dissociate, maybe I’ll get something worthy in return. Ohhh!” Where does this come from? I have one hypothesis. https://t.co/4ZvZ5YbzMt

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7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

I wanted to be able to walk and genuinely smile at people back. Now I can. https://t.co/Tq4PKRTNvE

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

One of the privileges I am discovering of being a hot girl is the ability to walk around, look at pretty much anyone, and smile and have it be well-received. This is an absolute gift. ☘️🍀

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7/26/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@this_is_silvia tweets something that points to my experience as well here. https://t.co/q43HPURyV1

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8/9/2021

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

entire branching convo here is worth a read https://t.co/sr5JtitafM

yatharth in asheville@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

@this_is_silvia @m_ashcroft ive noticed sth like this too wtf is going on

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8/9/2021