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"having is evidence of wanting" — @carolynelliott_ This is true, on net, but can easily form an Over-reified Revealed Preferences frame, in that it doesn't account for the emergent results of conflict! ...which is what's underneath most behavior, particularly confusing behavior
When Sarah & I walk, I sometimes end up ~1' ahead. We were reading some shadow shit into this til we realized that I just have a faster default pace, & my system would only slow down once the error of me being ahead reached about 1'; she had a similar threshold for speeding up.
Hence me being one foot ahead was a stable point, what PCT calls a "virtual reference level" formed by two control systems in a tug of war. Neither *wants* the current situation, but neither has unilateral access to a move that would improve things in terms of what they do want.
So yes, the fact that part of you wants some shit that is socially unacceptable and/or bizarre from the perspective of your conscious desires, doesn't mean that want is any more true or real than what the other parts of you want.
However, your shadow stuff might be overpowered, not because it's inherently more important to you but because it's sneakier: https://t.co/ZxFMGmbadm
Your subconscious drives are reorganizing your mind to try new strategies til one works, and since they aren't conscious, they aren't constrained by: • what you think is okay • your own… belief… that you're not allowed to fuck around and find out?!? 🤯