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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

Weird flip, where I don’t want to be happy anymore; just the right to be sad.

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s because I connected with my inner sense of happiness, and my brain yells I LOVE YOU to me all the time, and I don’t feel covetous of happiness anymore; I have it. https://t.co/TrsmyxPR1v

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

This is me stretching my legs out and saying: I want no emotions to be off-limits. https://t.co/7DLFAQidGX

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

I don’t want to stop feeling sad. I want sad always there, so I can notice its remainder. https://t.co/SbKolc4Ds8

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Rn, sadness feels unsafe to display. I worry you won’t like me as much. https://t.co/OKA1yHQEb3

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

In my case, there is a sadness to love. And I avoid / feel unsafe in sadness.

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@rosaclewis and @maybegray are two of my favourite people in the world, because they found their happy, but they didn’t lose their sadness either. https://t.co/Lt0aKQSucr https://t.co/y3e2QRi9jn

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

@rosaclewis I love you being sad too

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Shout-out to @Tjdriii for that one off-hand comment he made to me in NYC, sth like “It sounds like you think negative emotions are a problem, Yatharth” Something about it lodged in my brain and really made me think.

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I contain multitudes, and I’m afraid if I say I’m sad, people won’t get the other thing. Like how when Rosa said she “God, I love being sad 💙😪,” someone replied “You alright?” https://t.co/KCfSyGPSSP

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

I have a lot of sadness in me, and I also have a lot of kindness. I have magnitudes of ease and contentment, and scores of worry. I am liminal and simple. I care.

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Am I just under-confident I am those things? No. It’s that the super-ego I inherited from my upbringing says if one is sad, something must be done about it. And I don’t want to do anything about it. I’m learning to tease apart my super-ego from my own ego.

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

super-ego ~= a part of you that forms as a child to regulate your behaviour and tell you what needs to be done to survive and be accepted ego ~= your own sense of self about how your actions connect to the goals you want [ego ain’t bad, you know]

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

this not a kind way to live 👇, and i don’t want to live that way anymore https://t.co/rawQtm8Or9

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

@ThisOlivier > Is this like… internally loving the you that suffers? Or how not resisting pain is itself a kind of release/spiritual experience? it’s more a — fuck, does it hurt, and alienate me, to feel i have to hide my sadness from the world . . . https://t.co/kVHHAqXUen

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7/27/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

more on feeling at rest with happiness https://t.co/20YzSX1FwO

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

@ThisOlivier > the need for endless happiness, in that context, is an overreach, like trying to paper over the ‘other’ emotions yeah, I did stretch for happiness, and you know what? it was an authentic and sincere desire, and i got there (without substances), and it was beautiful

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7/27/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth @Tjdriii Negative emotions (fear, sadness, anger) aren’t “problems” - they move us through change. Meanwhile happiness, is a sign to keep doing what we’re doing. https://t.co/XgK545krFU

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8/7/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @relic_radiation

@relic_radiation @Tjdriii > Negative emotions . . . move us through change. > Meanwhile happiness, is a sign to keep doing what we’re doing. nice (!)

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8/7/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth @Tjdriii Actually maybe I should have linked this article. “You can learn to treat each emotion as a specific and necessary helper. This is so much healthier than treating some emotions as magical rewards, and other emotions as major problems.” https://t.co/ToZ1ZwJVpI

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8/8/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationabout 4 years ago
Replying to @relic_radiation

@AskYatharth @Tjdriii Also, in this photo, the pitfalls of leading with happiness. “I know things will work out if I just love everyone more and work harder!!” https://t.co/qgtRaR4NU6

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @relic_radiation

@relic_radiation @Tjdriii I’ve heard this before. I have a hard time making it mean something to me. Something about the way you said it moved me in my heart.

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8/8/2021
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Elena Lake 🌿@relic_radiationabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth @Tjdriii Yay! That feels meaningful. I ain’t fully internalized it myself. I’m moving much more energy with each re-reading, living more life, returning, resonating with it on a deeper level. Shedding layers of the whole spectrum - anger, fear, sadness, happiness.

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8/8/2021