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Then we’re stuck, because wanting a sense of correctness is now the wrong thing to do, so we try to avoid doing it, but that’s still operating from a sense of correctness, which blocks us, and also now we’re dissatisfied. Ughhh all around.
What is the kind thing to do? It’s to realise that a sense of progress reasonable, possible, and achievable. Many therapists and traditions may not be sophisticated enough to speak to you about it *in a way that speaks to you.*
It is cruel to ask you to understand something in a way that doesn’t feel safe to understand, and it is possible to help you understand in a way that feels safe to understand. https://t.co/zzf1Qy5uTl
People in the past didn’t know how to explain to you that way, so they just yelled at you “JUST DO ITTT” “THERE’S NO OTHER WAYY.” Fuck those people. They were doing a good thing, and sometimes it worked. But we’re here to plug in some of those holes.
They have a point about letting go of the sense of correctness and needing to know. But it helps for them to explain it the first few times, so you can be practiced, and let go. https://t.co/D4OU2qiWbI
Trial-by-fire is awesome, but ALSO it can lead to overly rigid people just brutalising themselves more with more sense of Rules, in a way that can be gentler, more deft, and more expansive. https://t.co/XGUtpudYlw
IFS was kind to her this way. It gave her something of what she wanteds, while also giving a bit of what she needed. https://t.co/0nkrqxO06v
n.b.: the kind response here is not to insist “just wait!” — they’re not in a place to receive that, they want to do 🤷♂️⏳😕 it’s to give them something easy & useful to do in the meantime, that’s adjacent and they can do, and they can see results from 👨🌾🐣🌿