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I want to make YouTube videos. This doesn’t mean - I will make YouTube videos. - I am committing to make YouTube videos. - If I don’t make YouTube videos, this is further evidence I do not do what I want. It just means I want to make YouTube videos.
@rothosphere Not really. Because what it is is allowing the seed of an idea to grow. If I spontaneously and patiently happen to find myself making videos . . . great. Otherwise . . . it wasn’t a conscious, willing intention to manipulate myself I could fail at.
@AskYatharth I think I agree with all that. But the third point still seems just logically literally true -- like it's true so long as you are still wanting the thing and are not doing it. It stops being true either when you do the thing, or when you stop wanting to.
@rothosphere In the sense in which I mean “want”—simply noticing a desire—the rest of this baggage is just false. - I’m not a failure [this is confused]. - Not actually a problem; I don’t need to solve this. - This is ≠ giving my word.
@AskYatharth It seems like the original tweet may have been more about the associated baggage then? I'm kind of stubbornly hammering at this point i know but i just want to be like "you notice a desire for a thing, and assuming that desire persists and you don't do it--
@AskYatharth then this is absolutely and reasonably interpretable as you not doing the thing you want." (and that's totally fine and normal and we're all doing it all the time because we want far more things than we have the resources to do/have/enact)
@rothosphere - If I don’t make YouTube videos, this is further evidence I do not do what I want. It is in this sense in which the third point is just false. Not making videos doesn’t mean “I don’t do what I want” (the collective phrase/meme).
@rothosphere You’re breaking down the words individually, which is perfectly reasonable I’m treating “I don’t do what I want” as a collective of words that takes on its own meaning. The same way that “You never help with the dishes” means more than [you] [never] [help] [with] [the dishes].
@rothosphere Of course, the real reason is I had articulated none of this before your grilling (thank you, @rothosphere). I myself know better what I mean now. Before it was just a felt sense. It was True. I really did feel it, and the truth in it. Now I know how.
@rothosphere You may not have this meme. But the “I am starting to feel I not do what I want, and I feel a spiralling loss of control” is absolutely a real experience for me, and I’d hasten for many others. https://t.co/33qMIXMyOM
@rothosphere I started feeling it in college, switching fields every 6 months and blaming myself for not sticking to anything, or completing any project My energy became more & more frantic, as I panicked about this development, and became quite blaming and upset with myself for a few years
Thank you to @rothosphere for prodding me on what I mean in the replies. This is totally what I was hoping for when I post to Twitter. Notice some personal, felt sense. Then figure what I meant by it. https://t.co/3fSwngv4xm