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a thing that took me a long time to understand – I’d say I’m only just finally beginning to understand it – is what it means when people project their insecurities onto you for example, if someone is badly insecure about money, they’re likely to process everything thru $ lens
because this is a domain that is fraught with neediness for them, it becomes difficult for them to imagine that there might be other people who simply don’t really think or care about money very much at all. Anybody who claims to be that way must be a fraud putting on an act
Similarly, someone who is needy and insecure about sex may find it impossible to believe that someone else doesn’t think about sex all the time, and isn’t constantly plotting about how to get sex, and constantly evaluating every situation in terms of sexual dynamics or whatever
If you’ve never encountered people like this you might think they don’t exist, but they really do! Here’s a comedic tiktok sketch of an exaggerated insecure boyfriend- the comments are full of “how did you find this video of my ex” https://t.co/qfw7Dww557
the interesting thing is: needy/insecure people are so fixated on their narrow frames, it becomes a source of certainty and assurance for them. And they’ll impose it on you, and wear you down with their persistence. It’s tricksy and dangerous stuff, a kind of twisted dark power
@visakanv Lots of abusive marriages start this way. It's first whining and jealousy, then dos and don'ts imposed on the partner, then — if people don't break up — it's loud arguments and bruises afterwards. My mom went through all three stages with my biological father
@visakanv It's ended alright though! It escalated quickly for them so she spent no more than 2 years with him, and there was not too much physical violence, like <4 episodes, each nudging her to get divorced. And then I happily grew up with mom and granny, there was no longing for a father
@visakanv Grew up as a psi male lol https://t.co/AnNwSzkVCI